Never been lucky with friends

Being friendly and too approachable sometimes may hurt your feelings badly why? Because you are totally opened-hearted to a person whom at the end doesnt have any intention of being true to you.
A friend of mine asked my help to  let her have a chance to buy a brandnew car without being rejected by banks. Right away, since I know in my heart amd soul that my sister is the perfect agent for her without thinking any payment or so, I referred her to my sister. I did not interefere with there transaction. My idea was to help my sister earn more because I know how difficult to be a solo resident in your own home. As well to help my friend to get to purchase a new vehicle.
In a flash! After days without hearing from both parties I carried on with my life. Go to work- go home and the routine goes round and round and round, my sister called and was devastatingly angry. She was having a foul mouth as well as hysterically screaming in dismay. She said that my friend both used us and that her boss os totally disappointed on her. You know what she did?! She asked the help of my sister for an approval. They got it and then she used it in another branch leaving my sister hanging on. I feel for my sister. She was certainly all now was scolded in the office for what this client did. Now I do not know, as much as I want to be the same with her I am torn between the two of them. And i do know in me that what my friend did was a total no-no. Both my sister and I felt that we are been used again and again. Sad to say.

By the way here's the thing you are not allowed to use your approval to any other car store .. If another car store processes it for you. Respect comes in here as well as integrity. But she used the approval having another agent earn commission on where that agent dindt do anything and that cost my sister's fury. Her boss was in a total red of madness with the incident too! Tao nga naman...tsk....tsk

How Difficult To Fall In Love To A Confuse Single Dad

Ten years ago I worked in a company that I never thought would be so exciting. My colleagues and I are betting on which good guy prospect will be the right one for each and everyone of us! we have our own bets... my nurse-friend’s bet is a chinito pinoy look and tall as my bet was the same as hers even if they were two guys to choose for. Oh by the way the other one was a chinito tisoy and with an average height. 

Even that we have our own choices, I never thought that I would feel something with the chinito tisoy on the latter part of the story. Ok.. it started like this.....

                                                                                                         

One day at the heat of the summer sun of afternoon, he knocked on the gate of the company and asked if he can play with his little son in the playground. Since it's for public, well of course, I said yes. When my business partner came back from where she went, she said .."hmm..that's odd". "Odd? why? it's only a permission to play in the playground" I thought.

He played with the kid and then later on, enjoyed talking with me. Since, he is our client, I have to entertain him. 

After months or so, while I was doing my thing in my office room, the assistant, notified me that someone is looking for me. I asked my assistant if she is saying the truth or maybe the person is looking for my business partner. The assistant said, “the person was looking for you! "Huh? For me?” I thought.  "Why me?"

When I went out of the room I saw him. He's wearing his home clothes - short pants and just a white shirt. I asked him what can I do for him, then he suddenly said, "I need someone to talk to, please" with teary eyes and all. You can see and feel that there is a problem. I was correct.. (as always) (laughs). He has a problem... and the worse I guess for him, because it is all about his  significant other. As immediately took the roll of tissue and gave him a part of it, while he detailed every sequence of his dilemma about her. I felt light when I did that. I never thought that listening to someone will be that good. From then on, he started sending me text messages. At first, I said "ok" because the messages were in general thought. And perhaps he just needed someone to talk to and to have someone to forget what her wife did to him. 

Months passed and details of his confusion made me confuse too. His text messages were starting to feel like uncomfortable for me now and I don’t know how to answer him anymore.I sought the advice of my business partner. She gave a good advice of just let him do it every night or everyday but be sure to reply formally and without any double meaning.  And so I did. However, the next days of my life was changed!  My partner and my other colleagues started to tease me to the heavens. As they always say…”What if He is your forever?” "Huh? forever? I dont believe in forever."

The messages were getting deeper and deeper each day. At the back of my mind, I am already starting to feel giddy with all the messages he were sending. However part of me is quite putting a wall and limit since, it is written in our Code of Ethics generally that as a professional we are not allowed to be in such situation not unless, the person is not your client anymore. O darn! 

One day, he messaged me that he needed some guidance for his children for the absence of the mother. Hmmm.. please don’t be so assuming (laughs) . He just asks me to guide his children academically. With that, since, my work is with a hectic schedule, I asks him if he could bring the children at my home, anyway, it not only them who does academic support, but there were others too ‘til late night although with different schedule.  With this situation, I never thought it would be such complicated even if you’re not interested with the person.

There were late afternoons surprise visits while the children and I were studying. Maybe, he is just trying to check if I am a good person or might be a molester (laughs). One time, he was just with us for the whole time while studying. I didn’t mind it because it was his right to check on  his children. And that kind of thing continued. As my client, I just entertained it in the proper manner.  

There was this day, when all of them were just wearing home clothes, when the eldest ran inside the house and I saw the youngest in the car. I was so exhilaratingly excited to see the youngest, since….he is my adorable one! What made us both awkward is when he asks the little one who I am: “Hey little fella! Who is this?? Who is this?? (pointing to me).. and the little boy answered with a sly smile that made us both red faced.. “Mama!” ..”Mama!”..  He didn’t say sorry, (what I’m talking about was the dad..well, anyway nothing to sorry about). He just kept quiet with a red face. And I, just to make the situation light.. I just said “No, I am not your mama.” But still, the little fella said insistingly, “No you are!” . Oh well, we just both ignored what happened. I just prayed that night that I hope he didn’t think that it was me who taught his kid that, because if  it was!? it would be really embarrassing for me. As well as for him. Vis-a Vis .

Messages in the mobile phone still continued. And this time, he was really like talking to someone who is not his counsellor anymore. He would send, “I am just in the bathroom taking number 2”. “I am here in my friend’s house and drinking”. “Could you check on the children because I will be out-of-tow...blah...blah...”. Weird as I interpret it, because I don’t know what is he trying to communicate with me. However, on my part, it was the happiest day/s of my life that finally in my long-time being single, unmarried,without kids and dating jerks. I was hoping...THIS will end it. That even there were kids, it was ok with me since I am already attached to them. Them-- as in the whole family.. the whole clan – including his brothers and sisters, the nieces and nephews.

With the use of social media we were able to find out that we are both connected with each other. We are schoolmate. However, he is one-year ahead of me.

Another thing that I will never forget is when some time, my father invited him for small talk and drink at home. He did not reject that and had a drink with the old man. Later on, I got surprised when I saw him inside our room (where his kid and I were studying). All red and sat beside me. He was staring at me and I don’t know what’s going on. To remove the embarrassing feeling, I put the book of his eldest on our faces.. so we (his kid and I)  won’t see his staring eyes and red face. ( I don’t know if he was already tipsy or my old man..said something again..phew!) ( why again? Oh you know fathers right? If there’s a guy hanging around, even if you’re only friends..they think so much than a friend). The whole time was so uncomfortable. He was staring and staring and staring. I thought of an idea that could make him stop. I took a pillow and told him: “Here, use this. Sleep for a while you wait for your little kid, the alcohol will be off in an hour”.   He did that although, it was really...really.... uncomfortable.

Cute and “giddy feeling” mobile messages didn’t stop. Every day of my life was a HAPPY moment. Just imagine how my endorphins were working and how these endorphins just make me so beautiful. My colleagues at work are starting to see the changes that He did in my life.

We’re like friends or more than friends or just really friends.. I don’t know but the man is a total SWEETNESS. When we were already at the moment that we were so close together, his eldest spoke to me while we were studying together. He said: “I have a question,madame?” then I asks: “Ok what is it?” the little fella said: “Are you sure you won’t get angry or mad at me if I ask?” “Nope.Ok, go on” as I replied. “Do you LOVE my DAD?” ..I caught there and wasnt able to talk for a second and then I said, “Huh? Where did you get that?” “None. I just want to know. Because if you love my dad, I am ok with you. I love you to be my mom” “Please, could you be my mom..please...please....please... or rather our mom. My brother loves you too. Imagine he calls you Mama”. He was waiting for me to answer and so my answer was,“uhmm..Ok, I cannot answer if I love your Dad. Because I am only someone to guide you academically and nothing else. Even if you and your brother love me to be your mom, it is not that easy to be in that position because, you also still need to know if your Dad agrees with it. And he has the freedom to love someone as a person. The kid kept quiet and continued writing. I became more confuse ever than before. When I went home, I went to the office of my business partner and  I sought her advice. “What will I do, Fin? Is this right? Am I just assuming? How come there were situations like this?” All she was able to say was, “I don’t know. Maybe he is “torpe” or maybe he testing the waters..we don't know” At the back of my mind, if he has something, then he should say it. Because it is really damn difficult to think what are his moves all about.

I still believe in "Maria Clara" thing. I don’t do any move ‘til I could see with my both eyes that he is in to me. I was once, told assuming. And I don’t want that to happen again.

One day, my nurse friend was screaming my name at the hall running. When I turned around, she said “What if you try to message him pretending that this message is not his.. but you are sending it to him?” “What do you mean?” I asked.“ Do you mean that I will message him with a message that pretending it is not his but actually it is for him?” “Yes!” she said.“What for?” I replied back. “Well, you see, if you will do that, with the messages and the dilemma that you have, he will be able to read it and then he will realize that what he may be doing right now, might need for him to clear it up if he is really not into you or if he is.. he would say something about it. I thought twice, thrice. And so I did. I pretended to be texting a friend, stating that this guy (which is HIM) is showing gestures which is very confusing and all sent to his number. The next day was my worst day ever. When I opened my social media page, I saw him and my nurse friend flirting and commenting publicly with each other. It was the most painful thing that happened to me. I even saw how they talked about me in a comment thread. With that, coincidently, the mother of his little kids started to invade the privacy of their children by showing up in my home, showing up anywhere just to see her kids. But the point was, I was noted not to let his children meet the mom. She even begs for me to let her touch them. On my part, it was difficult. I was torn between two people who are hating each other plus what He is trying to do with me and with my nurse friend. I kept quiet and just followed the flow. I didn’t have sweet moments anymore with him. I didn’t have text with him anymore. And every comment thread for every day, I can feel it was me. I think he also sought the advice of my business partner, butfor confidentiality, I don't know what they spoke about.  I was hurt. So hurt that led me not to eat since I don’t have a good appetite anymore. I cried  all-day and night. Whined on every friend’s call to ask if I'm ok.I also,asked the help of my guy friends to go out with me and just be with me then cry. I was totally BALLISTIC! The worse part was.... the kids were still there. We are still seeing each other. But him, NOT anymore. No more visits. No more text.  Only the kids. With my separation anxiety, this made me from 60kgs went down to 40kgs. And his social media network flirt with my friend continued. I looked like a person who is very ill. I said to myself, “I have to fight—I love his children”. I ignored the idea of them flirting with each other and still continued as nothing happened. But it was painful. It was like you were stabbed with many knives over and over again. I tried to fight again, this time I said, I have to get him back and the kids. One of my co-workers said, “Drink 3 table spoon of olive oil and ask her to drink and party”. I did and this time, I was pretending to be normal and ok when we met in a bar. She was so sexy (perhaps she was thinking I will bring HIM along).. we drank and got merry and then later maybe with her guilt, she cannot take it anymore, she got drunk, she burst into tears and said “Sorry ..my friend.. we did” … With those words …. I melted into tears and walked out. Before I don’t believe in psychosomatic illnesses. But it did happen to me. With all the pain He and She gave me, I had a fever on and off. Coughs and colds and the like ‘til when my fever was not going down and I had to be sent to the emergency. E.R. was the best scenario I ever had. The doctor gave me an oxygen so I can breathe well from the coughs and colds I had. My potassium was down and the like. The nurse who is in charge for me is no other than… HER. My parents went uncomfortable. The only thing that my father said was: “I think we should live for a while and both of you should talk”. She was their standing infront me of me asking for my forgiveness but that time it was so difficult to give her my forgiveness, you know why? because I won’t be in that E.R. room if was not for her. I just said, “Maybe you should go out first because I cannot carry the idea that you and I are here in one room and you have betrayed my trust. And why him? You know everything about us…why him? I was a good friend to you.. I am always there even when you’re sick.. I cook for you and the like.. why him?.... and I burst into tears again and again. She went out. After a minute or so when I was already tired from crying.. all the good things and happy moments that He and I had keeps on popping on my head. It was annoying. Because I know in me that it’s gone. No more.

For five years, I did not entertain any love life. I said to myself, that was enough. I don’t want to be in the same situation again. I don’t want my friend to be our third party again. I don’t want to meet a guy who is not sure of what he feels and so on. It may sound bitter but I was just avoiding things like what happened to me last time. It was expensive. (Laughs) because of the hospitalization etc. and  it was too painful to keep. I could still remember when his sister-in-law came to visit me one day just to say hi and give me an oil that could help me with all of what I feel.

2016, remembering all thoseis already a story and lessons to learn to. When my mother, my sister and I were praying in the church, a tall man went behind me and said: “Miss, may I get your number?” ---- I was so surprised to see! It was his eldest and his nieces and …….my adorable one! They all hug me and was like we were asking what happened to our lives and the like. My eyes were moving and was looking for him… ‘til “bang!” there he goes, at my back of my right peripheral side  and was too shy to say hi and go near. I just smiled and looked at him…he smiled back, moving my eyes farther, his brother is there, sister and sister-in-law .. I just smiled and nodded to let them know that I saw them .I got sad when my adorable one doesn’t know m and doesn’t even call me mama anymore. Oh well, years had gone by.

Presently, still single and unmarried and without children of my own. A lot are keep on asking why am I still single. As I always say, “It’s because I haven’t seen him yet!”  They don’t believe me, they say that I am beautiful for someone NOT to be liked and loved by someone.

One of my colleagues now asks me: “What if He comes back to you? Will you still accept him back?” I replied and just gave a smile.

Lesson learned? don't believe at every action can a man show you, yes we do believe in the quote "Actions speaks louder than words" but this time, I was awaken that it is NOT. So be careful. Don't be so stupid and gullible like me. It will just lead you to heartbreak . 

Why Men tend to fall on their house help....tama ba yon?

Natatawa ako while doing this. Because the first thing that comes into my mind while typing is.... Yuck! Kadiri! may ganon? at marami pang ka echosan sa utak na Eww..yaya?!? Not to degrade women who work for us at home pero ang sabi nga ng isa sa mga nakakatanda sa pamilya namin .. "E konting delikadesa naman!" [Delikadesa: Delicadeza is a Spanish term which when translated in English means daintiness. It is defined as an act of being refined or delicate in tastes or manners. But in simple terms, its commonly referred to as a sense of propriety or how to behave rightly in all circumstances. It is in essence an etiquette that was passed on to us as a legacy of the Spanish culture.] O ayan! alam niyo na ang meaning ng Delikadesa. 

Pero ang tanong din siguro ng marami, tulad ko, bakit nga ba mayroong ganoon? Sineduce ba sila ni yaya? talaga bang mayroon silang relasyon ni ate? literal na "mataas ang libido" ni kuya? literal na "makati si manang", nakita ni kuya ang wala sa asawa niya kay nanny?, nilasing ni ate si kuya etc... etc.. Ang mahirap sa kalakaran ngayon, palaging asar-talo ang among babae, kasi mayroon ng republic act... kiyeme..kiyeme tungkol sa pag-aalaga ng ating mga ka-yayahan sa bahay. Di ba naisip ng Pinas na kailangan ding gumawa ng batas para sa kasambahay na mahilig pumapel at mahilig uma-naconda ng among lalaki sa among babae. If I know, mukha namang kirarabels naman at katol na katol. What are those? Oh well, i-google na lang search on gay lingo or sward speak. Hahahahahaha. 

By nature, napaka-swerte na lang ng isang girlaloo kung ang makukuha niyang jowa foreverloo ay sa kanya lang tumataas ang libido. Meaning....o alam niyo na! Ke-hipon pa ang babae, basta may vjayjay..gorabels. 

Question 101: Paano kaya nakukuha ni Kuya makipag-lips-to-lips? Omg! and the fez..I'm not saying maganda ako, pero just come to think of it? what if kung may labintador pa ang bibig at kilimode? diba? and come to think also si misis, bonggabels kung kumayod para sa lahat sa pamilya, matalino, maganda etc.. tapos ganon lang? 

Ayon sa isang article na nabasa ko, Men tend to fall to their househelp raw e it's because they see things or behavior that they did not see with their wives or common-law-partners for many years. That's bullshit! Di naman sa humu-who-goat. Wala pa akong asawa by the way so I dont think humu-who-goat ako. Let's say, O sige na nga, pero di pa rin excuse siya to be an atchay-killer. Kaya nga nilagay ni God ang brain sa head meaning siya ang unang gagamitin.. hindi yung head sa baba. Hahahaha. 

Nakakafrustrate, very disappointing and depressing for us women, kung ang mga jowakels namin e ganoon. Para bang di ka na binigyan ng kahihiyan at the same time, we have given all our best for you men to be on where you are tapos pag-papalit ka lang sa isang anacondang katol. Just because umarangkanda lang si manoy! 

Sa karamihan na ngayon, kahit hirap ang mga mudrakels at kababaihan sa kanilang mga oras sa trabaho at bahay, wala ng gustong kumuha ng mga kasambahay dahil nga sa mga ganoong kwento. Siyempre bilang babae, gusto lang din ng karamihan na maganda ang kanilang pamilya at mai-layo ang mga asawa sa mga ganoong kasambahay na dinaig pa ang isang pocahontas sa mga red streets. 

Sa mga lalake diyan o among lalake na mahilig sa mga katol, pano kung si misis naman ang pumatol kay drayber? o houseboy? kayanin niyo kaya? lalo na kung alam na alam niyo sa sarili niyo na you dont deserve that kasi alam mong magaling ka at mahal mo siya?

Ang tangi ko lang masasabi para matapos ko na ito eh.. KONTING DELIKADESA LANG. Kung di talaga kayang pigilan ang pag-arangkada ni Manoy.. Sus! gawan ng paraan at huwag ng pumasok sa paraan na kahit ikaw mismo e di mo kayang i-defend sa sarili mo, sa misis mo at lalong lalo na sa mga anak mo pag dumating ang panahon ng pagsingaw ng utot. Hahahahaha di ba may kasabihan nga... walang UTOT ang di naaamoy.

P.S.  Inspired by small chat with sister and aunt last night